"Sunny? Baby girl? Are you okay down there?"
"You're asleep. Again. This is the fourth time you've done this in a week! One second you're talking with me, I turn away, then all of a sudden you're on the floor dead to the world. What's wrong, Dawn?"
Really? Four times? I hadn't realized. It was the strangest thing, really. Id be fine one second, then suddenly get so, so tired, and just fall to the floor. I wouldn't call it 'passing out', but it was as close as I'd come to doing so.
He took my arm, and pulled me off the ground.
"I'm fine, Joel. It's all the exams this past while, its got me up all hours, so it's taking a toll. Don't worry about me."
"I said, don't worry about me! I'm not some pet Joel, I would tell you if I had a problem, but I don't okay?! I don't."
He was silent. I could feel his emotions in the air, and they were as confused as mine. My anger had subsided as quickly as it had come upon me. I'd been constantly snapping at Joel, Mom, and everyone else in my path for weeks now, but never truly had a reason. Joel was getting near his limit, I could tell, but I couldn't stop it when it came.
"I'm sorry, Joel" I murmured, not meeting his gaze.
He pressed his lips to my forehead, a kiss in a sense, but more of a tense gesture of understanding.
"I know, Sunny. C'mon, let's get you a glass of water to wake you back up." he replied gently, with his voice still full of confusion, and worry.
I had my water, but the lightheaded feeling still clouded my thinking. I leaned in Joel's arms, keeping me upright, and contented.
The truth was, I was worried. I hadn't had problems with late study sessions before, and these exams weren't that taxing for me. Something wasn't sitting right, and I couldn't think what. I had to just brush it off, and hope it passed.
After a little while, the sun began to lower, and the afternoon set in. It must be at least 3PM by now, and Joel had to get going.
He took my hands in his, as we said our goodbyes.
"Try and feel better, baby." he whispered, his breath on my ear. I knew the feeling too well, of his breath on my ear. It was now a comfort to me, and he knew it.
"Sure thing." I mutter, knowing it's no use. If I knew how to cure this..this flu, I would have done so by now.
He left the house, and I was now free to roam my own mind. It's not a good thing, to be left alone with my mind, but of course, only I know that. Too many questions come up in life, for my mind to be a safe place. It is, however, a logical place. I knew that to think straight, I had to get rid of the dizzy. To get rid of the dizzy, I had to raise my blood sugar.
It helped a little but within a few minutes, I was back to a spinning kitchen, and a turning stomach.
What was this?! I'd gone over everything. A wild illness, lack of sleep, poor nutrition, lacking of iron. Nothing worked. Supplement after supplement, remedy after remedy, and to be honest, I only got worse.
I made my way to the bathroom, and looked at myself in the mirror. My face was paler then normal, but not so much so that people would label me as unwell. My eyes had dark bags underneath them, adding to the feel of a sleep deprived teenager. I'd expected myself to be losing weight, or something... but it was more the opposite. Not noticeable, again, but I could tell.
"DINNER" Mom called from the other room.
Dinner? How long had I been in here, just staring at myself? Too long, silly vain girl.
I sat to the table with an eager spring to my step, I was starving! The Mac 'n' Cheese looked awesome, and I hadn't eaten anything today.
But as soon as I put a bite in my mouth, I knew something was off. A taste of garlic consumed my mouth, and it was all I could do not to throw up on everyone else's meal.
I managed to make it all the way to the sink before spewing an acidic liquid down the drain. Ugh.. I wish I had eaten something.. maybe then it would have burned less.
"Momma!" I whined "Why did you put garlic in the dinner? You know I hate it!"
She gave me an utterly perplexed look.
"Baby, I didn't! You know I wouldn't do that!"
"Mom, it was the only thing I could taste!"
She pondered for a while, before a moment of realization flashed cross her face.
"I made pasta sauce for Aunt Iliana today, in that same pan. It had garlic in."
We both went into a deep thought. How could I taste that garlic when the pan had been washed? Weird.
Of course I didn't feel up to eating after that, so I went to close my eyes on the couch. Dusk followed, but I wasn't in the mood to talk.
"You know, Dawn. I'm here for you. Are you sick, or something? Did you do something wrong?"
I sighed. This again. Dusk figured it was guilt getting to me, making me this way. Im sure it wasn't, I hadn't done such bad things.
"Dusk, Im fine. Don;t worry about me"
I'd been saying that way too much lately.
Dusk got up from his perch on the table, and trotted downstairs to his room. I got up off the couch, and made my way back into the kitchen for a drink.
Mom was still int he room, something I should have realized. All this week I'd tried my hardest to avoid her, and the worry wart nature that she had, but right now there was nobody else I'd even consider listening to.
"Dawn, baby. Something's wrong, and don't even try and deny it. Go, now, shower. Ill bring in some cocoa to your room, and we will chat, okay?"
I nodded, and made my way to the bathroom. A shower was a good idea.
The water washed away my worries for a few blessed minutes. It was gold, but I knew that Momma was waiting, and also that water cost money.
I changed into my PJ's, and sat on my bedroom floor. Within minutes, Mom joined me, two steaming mugs in her hand.
"Baby girl.. I'm worried about you. You're passing out, can't eat, and anything you do eat comes back up! Do you have any idea what's wrong?"
"No, Mom. I actually don't!"
She frowned, thinking hard.
Suddenly, she drew very close. An idea had formed.
"Dawn, listen to me now. Have you and Joel ever gone all the way?"
I almost laughed at her attempt at slang. Should I lie? No. I couldn't.
I nodded. And as I did, I realized.
Nausea. Tiredness. Dizziness. Sensitive tastes.
I stood, slowly and with caution. If what I thought was right, I'd done everything wrong that I could do.
Tears started to flow, and Mom was at my side in a flash.
"Momma?" I breathed.
"I think I'm pregnant."
She paused, taking it all in. I was her baby, after all. Her daughter. I was supposed to be the one to go far, and then I'd done this.
"Im going out. Ill bring back a test. We'll know before 9 whether to worry or not."
I heard the car speed away, and I let the tears flow down my face.
My hand came to rest gently on my belly. Could I be pregnant? What would Joel say? What would I do?
Mom was fast. Too fast. I knew she had been over the speed limit the whole journey, and normally, I'd have lectured her all night. Tonight though, I couldn't thank her enough.
I took the little white stick out of the box, and went into the bathroom.
Ill tell you something. There's a skill to this. I don't have that skill.
I called Mom in when the job was done. The box said 2 minutes. Two minutes to change a life. Oh sweet molasses what have I done?
Both Mom and I were worried. Terrified. I was ready to be sick again, but I knew there was nothing left to throw up.
I turned away, as the two minutes neared their end.
"What does it say Momma? Tell me."
I coudl feel her shoulders fall slightly, rubbing against my own. I knew the answer before she said it.
"Dawn, you're having a baby."
Oh God. How was I gonna tell Joel? Tell Dusk?
"You're what?!" I heard a voice cry behind me. A voice I knew to belong to a certain boy with a birthday minutes behind my own.
One down, One to go.